DANCE WITH MY FATHER

(impromptu)

by Zabariah

11/4/13

   Do you know the song “Dance with my father” by Luther Vandross? Whenever I listen to that song, it brings back memories of my father and the lessons, pertinent life lessons that he taught me.

    There are three things that I learned from him. First, to respect time. My father was never late for anything. He was the first to arrive at the office and the last to leave. Whenever there was any invitation for a kenduri (a village gathering), he would be the first to be present. He said this to all of us “Never be late for anything”. This respect for time is very much ingrained in all of us, his children that I become annoyed or perturbed every time if people are late for meetings, functions and the like.

    Second, taking the road less travelled. My father wanted all of us to be good in English, because he believed that that would get us somewhere in our lives. The only challenge then was the only English school in my kampong (village) was a Christian missionary school. The villagers were not happy when my father decided to enroll us in the school. “Your children would be proselytized” they said. But my father was indifferent to all these accusations. He took risk by having all his children enrolled in that school. I am glad he did stand his ground. If not for his principles, I would not find the beauty of the English language and the ability to understand other religions, Christianity in particular.

   Finally, saying thank you is a norm in my father’s daily vocabulary. Even for a small gesture of serving him a glass of water, he would say “thank you”. And I admire him for that, especially in a Malay family where the expression of gratitude to one’s children is a nonentity. The values that my father taught me I hold dear to this very day.