OF DEATH AND THE LIVING

by Zabariah

18/4/13

   Benjamin Franklin, in a letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy in 1789 wrote “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes...” Of course this proverb sounds so fatalistic and derisive but death indeed is inevitable and taxes could not be evaded. I certainly would not focus my energy on talking about taxes, but death somehow seems to be a common premise this year, to people I know. First Dr. Muhammad Uthman El-Muhammady, a renowned scholar from the Institute of Islamic Thought and Civilisation, International Islamic University Malaysia. The late Dr. Muhammad Uthman was a regular contributor to our programs on multi-religious understanding. I admire him for his thoughts and intellect.

   Next was Zainon Ahmad, fondly referred to as Pak Non, a respected and well-known media practitioner in Malaysia and South-East Asia. I knew Pak Non for his candid and analytical observation of political circumstances in and outside the country whilst maintaining his professional ethics as a journalist that of giving a balanced perspective on current issues. Then there was my friend’s mom whom I knew as a kind-hearted woman, and loved to wear kebaya. She passed away at the age of 81.

   Death has a way of snitching into one’s consciousness, recreating similar memories and hence changing one’s outlook of life and living. I remember vividly when one of my closest friends, Jill, died more than 10 years ago at the age of 32 from LSE. It felt surreal when I saw her body lying stone-cold at her mom’s place. I could not even shed a tear. The numbness was deafening.

    And 6 years ago my father passed away. I was thinking then “This could not be happening to me, to my family. He was the only father that I had, that I knew and all these were a bad dream. Yes, other people’s father could die for all I care, but not mine. “ Anger, rejection and self-blame are some very raw, potent emotions to deal with when there is death in the family. At that time, days and nights seemed very muddled and inconsequential. Sadness and somberness later began to be replaced by an aching pain, a pain that could only be felt but not expressed. A poignant pain that could only be lived through, never revealed nor understood.

   But time does heal. And time also allows death to be viewed in a different manner. Death is no longer considered with despondency and morbid fear. One then accepts that death indeed is a part of living, a part of renewal and a part of one’s belief in the Higher Being, one’s Creator. By finally accepting that, it brings solace to the soul. And one learns to forgive and let go of the past, not easy but at least the awareness and the efforts are there.

    And what about the living? Yes, death has a way of bringing the living closer. One tends to cherish every moment with one’s family and friends. One knows with a certainty that whatever little time one has, it would not last forever. “Life as John Moeleart said, “is the epitome of brevity. Death is the quintessence of eternity”.